Joke? Serious? How about both?

posted by David Cloninger, 11/18/2008 09:20:00 PM

"Eddie, are you kidding?"
-------------- FRANK ZAPPA

We all heard it. Steve Spurrier saying Stephen Garcia wasn't much fun to coach. It's a challenge. Etc.

Sigh ...

Here we go again.

The big question is whether or not Spurrier was joking. He probably was. At least, the remark drew laughter.

The problem is, I couldn't make that call from the expression I saw. So I wrote what he said. It's not like he winked or said "Just kidding" or closed one eye, pointed at me and said, "Gotcha!"

So I'm left to conclude he was probably joking, with a little bit of truth thrown in.

But I can't report in a story, even a quick recap, what I think. Only what I know.

I wrote what Spurrier said.

Here's what I think.

Spurrier's not going to throw Garcia out of the equation. He knows the kid can do too many things his other quarterbacks simply can't do.

But he's frustrated with how Garcia continues to run first, pass later; won't stay in the pocket long enough to attempt a throw; how in a perfect world, Garcia would have two full spring practices and almost two full seasons to his credit at this point of his career.

It's going to take time to get Garcia out of the play-calling rut he ran in high school -- look for the open man, if he's not there, tuck and run. That time would probably already be past, except for -- well, you know.

And seeing the Gamecocks stumble around offensively in a 50-point shellacking at Florida last week didn't help, either. Garcia nor Chris Smelley looked like the kind of guy you definitely want to name as your starter, especially two weeks before the next game.

In the midst of talking about retirement rumors -- you want a cockamamie "story," check that one out -- Spurrier probably decided to offer a one-liner about how coaching Garcia would drive a coach out of USC. Yet he didn't laugh or flash those pearly whites -- he just looked straight ahead.

Not definitely joking. Not definitely serious.

Had to be both.

So take a breath and calm down, Gamecock fans. Garcia will play against Clemson. I can't say how much because as mentioned several times before, I'm not a mind-reader (which is why my bookie, the esteemed Claude "Two Finger" Stansopolis is leaving me nasty messages about taking USC and the points).

And when he leads the game-winning drive, stands on the paw and honors Steve Taneyhill while Spurrier hugs his neck, we'll all know it was a joke.

Of course, that's assuming Kenny Miles doesn't show up, run for 400 yards and win the game ball by himself.

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